suitcasegnome | "won't call you baby anymore/won't call you baby like I did before..."

So, mi vida loca.

I'm still living in Calgary. Boys (and creepy old men who make me wird/creepy offers; "We go for coffee now?" is a pickup line I never want to hear again) still confound me. Work is still work (yanno, tiring, a bit boring, but lovely coworkers, etc.) My weird obsession with anything even vaguely sexual (wooooo lesbianism, and I bought a book about the ethics of stripping the other day, which is really interesting so far) is still pestering me (apparently I am now the perviest out of all my roommates). God, when did I become so crass? :P And I still am trying to learn an obscene amount of languages at once (I've taken up Dutch, because I am odd, and I'm still working on Mandarin and Espanol).

I'm pondering, too, about how much I've changed in the past 11 months, since I started university. A few months back, my friend Laura was saying something to the effect of me being nice at the beginning of the year, but that I'd changed enough to be upgraded to "awesome". Then today my friend Ben was saying how my ego had gone from non-existent when I met him back in September to "one that needs to be tamed" now. :P I really do have an inflated ego problem, but I've grown to really love and nurture myself, and I find I have less self-esteem/confidence issues than many of my friends. But I'm also a vain, selfish, egocentric bitch. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not hating myself over here, but I sometimes just wish I was at least a little bit nicer. So I wonder... was it worth it? What do you guys think; Is a major personality overhaul, intentional or not, a good or bad thing in the end?

I'm rather curious about this issue in general, so any input would be mucho-ly appreciated. Good night, y'all!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I love your username, by the way. What's the story behind it?

I wish that I had more confidence. I think it's about balance. Having confidence is great, but it's important to be kind as well.

I think, in answer to your question, that the effectiveness of a major personality overhaul completely depends on the person. It depends what you've gotten out of it. Peronality overhauls can lose you friends, but it can gain you friends, too. Are you happy? If you're happy, then it worked for you.

*nods*

Personality changes are usually case by case. You never really know until it works... or doesn't. :P

Though I wasn't really *trying* to change anything, it just...happened. :P Such is life, anyway.

Ah, the username. It's taken from a scene in Amelie, one of my favorite movies, in which the title character is carrying (what I then believed to be) a suitcase and a gnome. In more recent viewings, I noted that it turns out she was actually carrying a *satchel* or some such sundry variety of bag, but satchelgnome doesn't sound nearly as cool. :P

It's funny, because I don't think I've ever met anyone who was totally confident about everything. :P Yay balance!

The thing is, I'm not sure how I feel about how I've changed. It's a mix of regret for how I was and a sense of (some amount of) pride in what I've become. It's got its good and bad aspects, but so does life. :P

I think self-esteem boosting is very healthy if maintained, and I think you already admitting that you could be nicer is in and of itself maintaining it. So I think you're doing a good job and that it's a good thing. :)

Ooooo, an encouraging (and very common-sense) comment complete with adorable icon! Thanks. :)

Is your transformation that complete, really? Is the essence of who you are altering, or are you just discovering things that were already there (that weren't able to express themselves before)?

I like change, and believe that forward momentum is to be greatly desired. Keep on keepin' on with the inventory of self. Change to suit yourself, though, not what you think others expect from you. As long as you stay honest, it's a good thing.

I do not like creepy people who try to pick me up and are difficult to dissuade. Also, I do not like coffee.

Also, come back to NS and learn Esperanto with me.

Also, also, please to keep your ears peeled for anyone who is Hali-apartment hunting for late fall/early winter. One of my roomies looks to be leaving in November.

Oh, gosh, I have no clue how complete it is. I'm so bewildered by all these changes.It seems like so much so fast, and all. Ah well. What you said was all good advice, anyway, and food for thought. :)

Creepy people who try to pick me up are all too common. If only mendidn't find girls with ice cream so hot. :P And they all start out seeming so nice... bleh. And I still haven't changed enough to be capable of stomaching coffee.

And worry not, I shall make my triumphant return to Nova Scotia in September, and shall hopefully be svelter and have bluer hair. And then I would love to learn Esperanto with you. :)

And will do. ;)

Aww I wanna learn Dutch too! But mainly because my cousins speak it and they live in Holland. Lucky folks.

Heh you don't seem to have an ego problem at all...but then again, I don't know you offline. =P

I heart learning languages, and I have a stalker in Holland to practice with! :D

Yeah, the huge ego tends to manifest itself more in person. But I have a boy here who keeps crushing it to smithereens, so it's all good. :P

Ego? you Meg? no not you!

seriously though from what i know of you (in the what week that i actualy saw you) you're a very cool chick and maybe you deserve to have an ego .......

by the by i'm gjoing to have to try the coffie line some time and see how it goes :)

-this message brought to you by Shay.... and the letter H

Keep in mind you met me shortly after having my heart crushed. That was definitely keeping my ego in check.

I don't think you need to rely on pick-up lines, kiddo, and isn't it a bit early days for that anyway? ;p (Plus, do you really want to use lines that creepy old men, who are obviously still single at their age for a reason, use?)

-The one, the only, the Meg

"won't call you baby anymore/won't call you baby like I did before..."

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